Taking back the house and maybe our lives too?

First of all I was sick and useless for a bit and then immediately on the heels of that (well really right in the middle of that) Brad decided to forget his past neck surgery and all his common sense and try to lift half a HUGE oak dresser and take it from our garage to upstairs. He did this despite the fact that we'd discussed he needed more than two people to lift that thing and despite the fact that it would end up just sitting in the upstairs hallway since we weren't ready for it yet. Anyway he got the dresser upstairs and of course hurt himself in the process. So while I was still barely on the mend I was driving him to the ER... this is so not where I was going with this. (can you tell I'm not over this yet?) The point is - we were both sick (two months later he's still battling the effects and the dresser is still in the hallway leaning up against the railing - it's a good look.) and that was really the start of the downward slide our poor house has taken.

In the two months since then we went on vacation, finished up camp, Brad traveled and his arm continued to heal, hosted a baby shower, school supply shopping, kept up Jackson's counseling appointments (major separation and other anxiety issues), and the general stuff that fills life - but the real time sucker was the Comic-con. As usual Brad helps coordinate the annual convention and I help. For Brad this is like having two full time jobs for the two months prior to the show. And then finally the show happens and we both stay downtown for the duration and my mom brings the kids in for a few hours each day (it's so phenomenal to have such a wonderful mom so close by).

It feels like we've barely managed to keep the kids fed and the laundry clean (certainly not folded or put away). So Comic-con was last weekend. Brad and I got home about about 12:30am on Monday morning and managed to get the kids up and ready for their first day of school and survive the work week and now.... breathe. But.. the house. Oh. My. God. The house. There's stuff everywhere. Piles. In drawers. On tables. On counters. On beds. It seems impossible.

So now - I'm feeling totally overwhelmed. I just can't live like this. So on the one hand I do truly feel like I can breathe for the first time in too long but on the other - whew it's a lot of work. I need to recreate the peaceful home I live in or I may just implode. Okay so.. I've written a list. I need the list or it will be far too overwhelming. As we cross stuff off, I'm feeling a little better and more confident we can, in fact, take our house back. And maybe our lives too. I doubt there have been 10 weekdays in the last few months that Brad and I have both been home at night.

Wish us luck.

Our arrival home... Shouldn't it be a kind of a happy homecoming thing?

The Dead Mouse
welcomed us as soon as we opened the garage door. It was just lying there on it's side, sort of waving to us - only not really as it wasn't moving or anything. How delightful.

Fruit Flies
Are just the cutest things, don't you think? It's a good think they're so damn cute or I'd have been really grossed out by the fact that our kitchen was inundated with them when we got home. There was a serious, all hands on deck, fruit fly party going on around my kitchen island. I vaguely remembered Brad buying some peaches from a local farm stand and as I looked at the red basket on the island (I think it was red though there was a brownish fruit fly haze covering the true color) I saw a brown paper bag inside. The same kind of brown paper bag you get from the farm stand. And I couldn't remember seeing the boys eat any peaches the week before we left for a week and I know I didn't have any and Brad doesn't eat fruit (I know, it's a long story). So I quickly took the basket outside and put it on the deck and found the flyswatter and put Jackson on fruit fly killing duty.

Jack's ear
started hurting on Thursday while in the pool. Ted's ear had hurt him the day before but was perfectly fine by Thursday. Now this could be just a bit of water trapped in there or the beginning of an ear infection or swimmer's ear (yes I know that's an infection too) - so we just watched and waited to see what we'd see. Sure enough his symptoms were inconclusive until... the drive home from the Eastern Shore. We made him an appointment for 5:10 pm on Saturday and he headed out with Brad to pick up the demon dog from hell (aka Bandit). I heard Brad tell him he needed to take some ibuprofen before they left and thought that was a good idea.

They got back and were preparing to go to the appointment and he was balking. In a big, big way. Crying. "I don't want them to touch my ears" "no, I'm not going if they are going to touch my ears" "no way". I was calmly and diligently explaining to him how we wanted his ear to stop hurting and he might need medicine for that and the only way to get the medicine would be for them to take a quick peek in there. I tried joking "it's not like they're going to jab a stick in there or anything"... yeah that didn't work at all - he just glared at me and then started crying again before he ran into the other room... Yay me.

Finally it comes out that he didn't actually take any medicine earlier and it all becomes clear. We poured some down his throat and got him in the car and hopefully by the time they get there he'll be human again.

My back
is not quite out, but it's been thinking about it for a couple of days. The bed at the house was really soft and I think that contributed. But so did kayaking even though I only did that once and throwing the boys around in the pool and packing and unpacking, etc, etc, etc. Of course the really bad part is that the Comic-con is next weekend and it'll really suck if my back is really out when I'm supposed to be working all day on a concrete floor.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better.

A week on Hudson Creek - can we say good food...

We just spent a lovely week on the Hudson Creek just outside of Cambridge with a big family group. My mom and step dad sailed over from Annapolis, My brother-in-law's sister and her friend came in from LA and the rest of us came from our homes in MD.

Sang and Lara bought a boat; a little... hmmm fishing boat kind of thing, not a Boston whaler, but something in that vicinity so that fresh crabs could be caught. On the first evening Sang and company baited two 600 foot trot lines with chicken necks and bull lips. Let me just say - bull lips were a new one on me - they are in fact the lips from bulls - ewwwww. I'm all over the chicken neck as the way to catch some crabs, but bull lips... really? The lips from bulls? Sang said he went into a local butcher shop and asked for 20 lbs of bull lips and the butcher reacted as if he's asked for ground beef. Obviously I'm totally out of it. Perhaps I've been away from Annapolis for too long. On the next morning Sang, Lara, Scott, and Minah headed out and (apparently) after much yelling (the learning curve was especially steep) they came back with more than a bushel of crabs which we had for lunch. I've had some good and fresh crabs in my day - but Oh. My. God. they were some good crabs.

It's still my own personal embarrassment that I can't get my children to eat crabs. (hanging head in shame) I'm hoping this will change some day - I have hope with Jackson, but I think Ted may be a lost cause (much like his father). Brad will eat crab on things and in things, but the idea of sitting down with a beer (he would never drink beer) and picking a bunch of crabs is just not ever going to happen.

Sang's family is Korean and he, his mom, and his sister are all amazing cooks. Every night was filled with something wonderful. We even had plain old ordinary fajitas one night - but I swear they were the best damn fajitas I've ever had. Kyong grilled chicken, pork, and steak to perfection along with a bevy of veggies and put it all together - perfection. The things that Sang's mom would throw together with leftovers and spices - totally amazing. I was trying to convince her to come live with us - I'm not sure she's willing, but it's a nice thought.

The same group went crabbing another day as well and caught another bushel and it was just as amazing as the first... so so so good.

We had three dogs with us; a big huge lanky German shepherd mix named Rico, a teeny, tiny almost cat like thing (I think it's a toy poodle, shitzu mix that has a special name) called Nala, and a Chug (Chihuahua/Pug mix) named Loa. The three of them together was completely delightful, though I kept calling Rico - Nico and Nala - Rala and Loa - Lolo. There were far too many short names going on for my poor little brain.

Overall a great time was had by all - there was a good sized pool in the back yard, several kayaks and canoes for play in Hudson Creek, a nice dock to gaze out off of and plenty of space to spread out and veg (one of my favorite things).

Unfortunately not it's back to the real world.

And finally she posts again...

So I was thinking I wanted to do a blog post, but I couldn't think of a thing to write and then... I put the boys to bed and they were more than happy to entertain me...

She got up and just walked away
I'm reading one of the Wimpy Kid books to Jackson. He's recently taken to wanting us to read to him again which is cute - and hopefully short lived (I much prefer him reading to me) - but I'm finishing up my last "day" in the book and then he needs to show me how his dolphin silly band can be a dolphin, a fish, and a pig, just by moving it around a bit. Okay, go for it kid.

Jack: Here's the dolphin (fart) oops, excuse me
I just raised my eyebrows at him in question and he shrugged
Jack: and here's (fart) the (fart) fish (fart, fart, fart). Oh man, I'm sorry.
I quietly got up and left the room.
And Jackson totally dissolved into a major fit of laughter. He was howling and kept muttering 'she got up and just walked away' before cackling again. He laughed until he was wiping the tears away.

I finally peaked my head around the corner and asked if it was safe to come back in and he fell over again in another laughing fit. "I can't believe you just stood up, turned around and left" as he lost it again. Why this struck him as so funny, I have no idea, but it certainly brightened my evening.

Sometimes I really worry about you
So I moved on to Teddy. After I pry my iphone and the game of stick golf he's playing away from him he's lying sideways on his bed with his feet up on the wall. He starts to takes one shoe off and pushes his leg away from the wall, past his head so he can kick it directly onto the floor over his head and... you guessed it, it bounced off his forehead and both he and I burst out laughing. Which of course brought Jack in from the other room to see what was going on. I tell Jack what Ted did as I know Jack will get a big kick out of it too and probably give me one of his faces that says "man there's a problem with that kid, but (shrug) what are you gonna do" Jack can say so much in a quick look it's completely entertaining and always spot on point.

Anyway, the brain trust that is Teddy decides he's going to show Jackson what he did only this time instead of the shoe just slightly grazing his head on it's way to the floor, it landed smack dab in the middle of his face and I almost fell off the bed laughing. Of course Ted tried to be mad at me because "That really hurt Mom!" I can't say that stemmed my or Jackson's laughter one bit. "Sometimes I really worry about you kid." And Jackson shrugged and silently said "that one is a piece of work."

Bandit
is insane. Seriously insane. He's always been insane and certainly that's part of why I don't like him, but recently he reached a new level of insanity! It started the night before the earthquake. He wouldn't leave my side and was shaking all over; totally freaking out. I have no idea what the issue was unless it was one of those weird animal things where he knew something was going to happen but the earthquake was still 8 hours away so I can't imagine that was it. Not to mention his behavior hasn't really let up much.

He's mostly hiding under my bed. But if he is out he's walking around the house with his ears back or lying at my or Brad's feet shaking. I feel sorry for him, but there's no reason for this sudden shift in behavior. It's like he was suddenly an abused child and is afraid of the world, but nothing new is going on in his life, so I'm not getting it. Lest you all get worried about him (though if it will get someone to come and take him away I'd be okay with that), he's acting exactly how he acts during a thunderstorm only without the storm. Whenever thunder starts, he starts shaking and wants to hide either in my lap (which is not my favorite) or under my bed. And he's been all but living under my bed for more than a week now. Perhaps the end of the world is near and we just don't know it yet.

Camela

Where the wild things are...

Camp is back.... and so is the drama
As I'm sure I've mentioned we've totally screwed up our son. Well we certainly knew it was going to happen. We had to come to grips with the fact that any children of ours would certainly need therapy at some point in their lives. Once we fully came to terms with that we decided it was time to have kids.... but I digress.

Against my better judgment I let Jack go to sleep away camp last year. It was Ted's 2nd year and he loves it and Jack was very excited about going, but I knew in my heart of hearts he was too young and too attached to his parents to be okay with it and sure enough he was. He had a great time while he was there, but came home suffering from a profound case of separation anxiety whenever ANY kind of separation is going to happen. He got back from sleep away camp and started back up at his regular day camp which he'd been going to and LOVING for years and worked himself into a frenzy over the idea that we were going to leave him there (he'd been there 8 days earlier) that he threw up on the way there. And on just about every morning after that until finally a monetary bribe worked (but that took a few weeks before he could work himself up to it). Then when school started - he was in the third grade and going to the same school as always, he climbed SOBBING onto the school bus and held his hands out the window to us while he continued SOBBING. There wasn't a dry eye in the neighborhood watching that scene. This continued for the entire first week, though he was finally able to get it together and had a mostly fine year as far as that was concerned.

Now to this summer. His stated reasons for hating the summer camp he previously loved were numerous and inventive; it was rusty, it's hot outside, they don't play football right... things like that and Brad was prepared to send him somewhere else, but believing any place would be tough for him I pushed to keep him there because it's a known entity for him and the staff know and love him and are ready, willing, and able to deal with the fact that he may literally vomit every morning in their bathroom. Today was the first day I got to take him to camp (Brad's in NC) and yes, he managed to vomit in the car on the ride over and was then totally surprised that I was still leaving him there. "but wait, I threw up, now I don't have to go." "uh, honey, you threw up because of your nerves and they know that, you're not sick, you're still going."

Let me stop and say he has a fabulous time while he's there. We get regular updates from his counselors and the camp director and they consistently report that he is having a ball. And if he's talking about camp and not realizing the implications of us knowing how much fun he is having he tells hilarious stories of the wonderful and crazy things they get to do there. But of course being Mr. Manipulative he is very careful not to let his guard down too often as he'd much rather tell us the place is rusty so he shouldn't have to go (read: I don't want you to ever leave my side for any reason whatsoever!)

Anyway - I hadn't intended to really get into all that, but there it is. Camp is back and so is the vomiting drama. We're working on coping mechanisms and I think maybe it's getting a little better. I'm hoping before he goes to high school he'll be able to leave our side more easily.


Teddy and girls
is a fun and painful thing to watch. Recently Teddy was at an end of school beach blast party and there he lost a tooth (the boy has lost 3-4 teeth in the past month). Apparently once the bloody molar was in a baggy he ran around the blacktop shoving it into as many girls' faces as he could. Brad was horrified by this behavior, I've got to say, it just made me laugh.

Then we were at the pool the other day and he kept going up to a group of girls who were minding their own business and splashing them. Brad was completely agitated by this. "We have to make him stop that, I don't think the girls like it." I got him to sit back down. If the girls don't like it, they'll have to figure out how to get him to stop it. I'm confident they can put him in his place if they want to and equally confident Ted will continue to annoy them until they do just that. This is just all part of the ritual - both sides need to learn how to deal with each other. We watched while Brad gripped the sides of his chair hard enough that his knuckles had lost all color, but eventually Ted managed to insinuate himself into a rousing game of keep away with the girls and their fathers.. no harm, no foul. And eventually the feeling came back into Brad's fingers.

Camela

The cause of the big bump on my forehead.....

At the elementary school where Jackson goes they have a lovely tradition where on the last day of school all the teachers and staff form two lines just outside the exit doors and clap and cheer for all the students as they have officially finished the year and (hopefully) been promoted to the next grade. Every year the sentiment brings tears to my eyes and if I actually get to watch it, I'm toast. (and though I won't admit it officially it's possible there are a few tears in my eyes right now as I think about it).

Anyway, because he goes to aftercare right after school I wasn't 100% sure exactly when school lets out and so I wasn't sure when his half day ended on the last day of school and this year Brad is out of town so I'm going to be there when Jack gets out. So what does a smart and organized mom do when she doesn't know the answer to something (and her husband is not available to give her the answer)??? She calls the school with a quick and easy question.

Me: What time does school let out?

dumbgirlwhoansweredthephone: Three hours earlier.

M: Yes, okay, thanks. What time does school let out?

D: What time does he get home?

M: When I pick him up. He’s in aftercare and I’m going to pick him up from school on Wednesday when it let’s out, but I don’t know when that is. Can you tell me when school let’s out this week?

D: Oh he’s in aftercare?

M: Yes

D: And you’re going to pick him up on Wednesday?

M: Yes

D: So he’ll be a car rider. Because I was going to calculate three hours earlier than when the bus normally drops him off if he was a bus rider.

M: Okay. When does school let out?

D: Well we’ll be all done by 12:15 or so. And the car loop gets pretty full so you might want to be in the loop by about noon or so.

M: I’m planning to park the car and get out; can you please tell me when school let’s out?

D: You’re going to park?

M: Yes.

D: As I said we’ll be all done by 12:15 or so, so you definitely want to be here before then.

(maybe a new question will help get me an answer)

M: When does the bell ring?

D: For car riders, we’ll probably let them out at 12:07 or 12:09.

M: Great, thank you.

(After hanging up, I beat the phone against my head for approximately 15 minutes.)

Camela

More potent quotables

"What ever happened to Sean Connery, I liked Sean Connery, well I mean that guy who used to play him."

******

(asked to Teddy) "Do you know what the capital of Albany is?" blank stare. "Albany, do you know what the capital of Albany is?"

Me: I think you mean New York, What's the capital of New York.

"Oh that's right" back to Teddy "do you know what's the capital of New York?"

Ted: New York City?

"No, Albany" Then to me "Camla, What is the capital of New York City?"

******

Jackson is doing a project about the founder of Honda and he was writing out the day he was born and the the day he died. "How old was he when he was born?" (blank stare) "Jackson, how old was Honda when he was born? What was that, in 1906? How old was he then? When he was born?" (more blank stares) To me "Does he know how hold he was when he was born?"

Me: When he was born he was zero and a minute later he was a minute old.

"Oh that's right."