The Christmas party and the space cadet

The Christmas Party

Was great fun!  Dare I say a big success?  Why yes, yes I do dare.  We added more groups of people this year like the parents of kids our kids play various sports with (well the ones we like anyway) and some old college friends I just discovered live in the area and there was an unexpected and totally lovely mix of people.  Several of the new people we invited knew people who come every year and so it was fun to see how people know each other – it really is a small world – okay – maybe not that small since the vast majority of the people who came all live in the same county… Still it was cool to see.  

We had such a wonderful time!  We haven’t done a final head count, but we had 70 yes RSVPs on evite, so I expect it was somewhere in that neighborhood.  We’ll be doing the post mortem later this week where I go through everything I served plus everything people brought and make notes about what we needed more or less of.  I have found the list invaluable, but it’s truly something that needs to be done within a couple of weeks or so of the party or our old brains start deteriorating.  

Space Cadet one to Air Head two

Last night was the 2^nd of a two day middle school concert extravaganza – I know you’re all jealous again!  Day one (Monday) was for band; jazz, lower, and upper.  Teddy and Matt (our neighbor and his best friend) are both percussionists in the upper band. Then last night was for chorus and orchestra.  Brad’s going to take Ted separately to get there on time and I was going to follow with Jack a bit later.  Just as Teddy was putting on his coat there was furious pounding on our door.  I rushed to open it and it’s Matt in full concert wear and his mom Lisa.

Lisa: Space Cadet 1 needs to talk to Air Head 2.  Space Cadet 1 has no bell mallets or music for what they’re playing tonight?

Me: um… Playing?  I thought that was last night, they’re singing tonight.

L: They’re doing both.  I think Ted’s playing for two groups and Matt for one, but Matt needs to make sure Ted has the music for the thing they’re doing together and he’s managed to misplace his.

Me: (In my head I’m thinking…. No way in Hell does my air head have any music.  This was the very first time I had heard he was doing anything other than singing for the chorus concerts so I certainly have never once suggested he practice his drum parts for chorus – and there’s no way on earth he’d think to do it on his own…. We are talking about Teddy here.) but out loud I said – Come on in, he’s just putting on his coat.

Matt – (rushing in) Do you have the music?

Ted: (looking totally clueless) What music?

M: For the bell piece

T: What bell piece?

M: (big exasperated sigh) The one we’re playing with the 6^th grade chorus.

T: (serious deer in headlight look…. Then) Oh. My. Gosh.  Dad!  We’ve got to stop at the school!! (the concert was at a different school).

Me: Um, honey, the school is long closed.

T: But we’ve got to!

Me: Not going to happen, you’ll just have to do your best.

T: (deep breath, then looking at Matt) Okay, we’ll be fine.

They sounded great and looked like they knew what they were doing up on stage, but later Teddy reported that they’d totally screwed it up…. oops!  Oh well, what’re you going to do?

I am thankful for.....

• My beautiful Teddy - though he constantly challenges me with his teenage attitude he never ceases to amaze me with his thoughtful curiosity and beautifully gentle ways (when he forgets to hide those parts from us).  
• My amazing Jackson - his witty, dry, humor keeps us laughing even while he's creating the mischief only his warped brain can find.
• My husband Brad - I know confidently I'm a better person for having his kindness and love and support in my life and my children are truly blessed for having such a big kid as such a loving protector.
• My life that allows me to be writing this from the Wilderness Lodge in the happiest place on earth while my husband and kids are wrapping up an early morning trip to the Magic Kingdom (letting mommy sleep in a bit) before we all head over to Blizzard Beach for an afternoon frolicking in the water before coming back to have a Thanksgiving Day bar-b-q with Mikey and friends before heading out on a pirate ship to watch the fireworks - who does this?  So much fun and we are so blessed to be able to do it!!!
• My friend Camille who knows every part of me; the good, the bad, the perverted and warped, the goofy and deranged, the kinky, the scared, the hopeful and the doubtful and loves me for (not despite) all of it.
• This on-line community that has allowed me to connect with so many people I might have lost forever or never met at all!

And so many, many other things I can't begin to single out - I am truly blessed and hope to take more time this year to appreciate every bit of it.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Mom-of-the-Year.... The fish died.

We suck as parents; fish and otherwise.  My poor Teddy has lost every pet that’s ever been only his.  First there was the gecko; supposedly the easiest animal to keep as a pet.  I don’t even remember his name, but you have to feed the gecko live crickets, which is fine.  But that means you have to keep a cage for the crickets you haven’t yet fed him and feed the crickets.  Yeah, okay.  So we bought this gross gel stuff and fed the crickets and fed the crickets to the gecko.  Great, right?  Yeah.. well, we are useless.  That’s all I can say.  We didn’t read the bottle of gel cricket food.  It has to be refrigerated after opening (come on, seriously we have to refrigerate cricket food?)  Anyway, we didn’t do that and the food became “bad” and we fed the crickets anyway and then we fed the now tainted crickets to the gecko and he died.  Oops.  Teddy was heart broken.

Then there were the hamsters.  Two dwarf robo (I think) hamsters who he named “Dwarf” and “Robo”.  One night I go in there for bedtime and check the hamster’s water; which I would have said I did regularly (apparently I can be a little spacey too) and it was empty.  So what did Mom-of-the-Year do?  She started in on the lecture about how if you don’t give your hamsters water they will die.  This is your responsibility, Ted.  You convinced us you were old enough and mature enough to handle this…. you get the idea.  One of the hamsters was sitting there at his nearly empty food bowl shaking.  Ut oh.  They need water and they need it now!!!  I went to fill a little tray with water to put right in front of their mouths telling Ted to find the other one and see if we can get them in the same place.  I’m on my way back when Ted comes barreling into my arms hysterical. 

Yup, Mom-of-the-Year here.  None of you can claim the title.  It’s mine.  I had just asked my kid to dig around in his hamster cage until he came across the dead hamster.  OMG.  I know I haven’t survived that trauma yet, Ted seems to have fared a bit better.  What the hell was I thinking?  Anyway, the 2^nd one died, a slow and I’m sure painful death about an hour later with Teddy and Brad looking on.  It was not a good night.  We did our best to back peddle and take all the blame so he wouldn’t be scarred for life, but, it was just another banner day in his life with pets.  Jackson’s are still alive and well.

And now it’s the fish. 

This time I do, in fact, think it’s totally Brad’s fault.  Ted desperately wants to care for a pet of his own.  We thought…. How hard could fish be?  Brad took him to the pet store and they came home with a tank too small for a heater and 2 balloon mollies; Tom and Joey. Of course the pet store people knew what they were doing and told them it was probably going to be okay.  But mollies apparently do much better in heated water.  And if you leave the light on all the time (in a non-heated tank it’s the only source of heat) then you encourage algae growth.  Yadda yadda yadda.  Whatever!  First Joey died and then Tom didn’t look so good, so Brad cleaned the tank and somehow Tom survived that and looked a bit better and then I went to the store for more supplies and this is when I learned that mollies are considered tropical and should be in a heated tank and yadda yadda yadda.  I bought the tank and Ted and I set it up last night.  I was told to let the filter and heater go for 24 hours before you add the fish, but we decided we’d just wait till morning because Tom didn’t look so good again.  Well he was dead this morning.  Teddy said he didn’t care at all in the way only a near teenager can manage.  We suck.

The Basement, Disney, and the Party

The basement

is nearly done!  The mountain of boxes that was our foyer is now gone!!!  Woo hoo!!!  I can’t tell you how lovely it is to see from one room across the foyer into the other room again.  The fact that this now highlights the disaster that is both rooms is something better left unsaid.  There’s a little problem with the new carpet and Brad and I did our good cop (him) – bad cop (me) routine with their rep yesterday.  The rep totally saw the problem (a long seam that doesn’t meet flatly, it peaks up and I’m afraid the dog will snag it cuz it’s higher than the rest of the carpet) and immediately diagnosed the problem as….. a bad dye lot from the manufacturer.  LOLOLOLOL.  Can you say pass the buck?  No, it’s not our installer that didn’t stretch the carpet correctly; it’s the carpet manufacturer who sent out carpet that has some color variation (which we clearly don’t have enough experience to see).  Mmmkay, whatever you say as long as my issue is ultimately fixed, I don’t really care how you go about doing it.

Disney World

We’re leaving in three days, I’m so excited and… well… maybe.. just a little bit freaking out too.  My brain has been on other things; the basement, the mountain of boxes, the carpet issue, work, kids, sports, the wonderful old friend I've recently reconnected with who we had over to watch my poor Skins be annihilated last night, etc…   But now.. Seriously… I can’t put off thinking about it any longer.  It’s… Three.  Days.  Away.  Holy shit.  I’ve gone so far as to create a staging area and put a handful of things on it (sunscreen, goggles, and pool toys totally count as a handful).  But that’s it.  Tonight I’m going to Target to get some travel sized things for the kids and a few other odds and ends.  And then I guess I have to go home and pack for me and the boys because did I mention…

Brad is out of town.  Dork!  Okay, it’s not his fault, but come on.  Seriously, you have a good night sleep down there in NC!  Watch a little TV, go to the movies, hey, maybe go out and have a few good meals at a few of your favorite restaurants, you know you will anyway!  I’ll just be up here making sure our suitcases are packed.  You don’t worry about us up here at all.  By the time you get your pretty little head back up here the suitcases will be by the door, the house will be ready for the painters to come while we’re gone, the new fish tank will be installed and the fish WILL NOT DIE and the hamster cage will be cleaned and the boy who’ll be caring for both will have been trained…. Really, I’ve got this.  Don’t you worry at all.  It’s just a little laundry, summer clothes hunting, cleaning, moving, packing, shopping and whatnot.  Sure, I’ve still got to go to work every day and make sure the rug rats get fed and get their homework done – no problem.  Really, I’ve got this.

The Party

Happens 1 week (that’s 7 days) from when we get home from Disney.  I’m thrilled!!!  I love this time of year!  I love, love, love my house at this time of year.  Okay, that’s a lie – at this actual, specific, moment I sort of hate my house.  It’s completely dusty from the recent basement work. (Brad changed the family room ceiling fan to turn in the opposite direction last night and we were all showered by huge hunks of dust falling from it – how lovely.)

The plan was to have the house just about decorated before we left for Disney which if you’ll remember is in 3 days.  Um… yeah, I don’t think so.  We are having our hallways painted while we’re gone – again – woo hoo, that’s freaking fantastic!!!  But, of course that means I can’t put up any garland on the railings or the tree above the front door, or certain pictures on certain walls, but oh well..  There are 2 trees up and in the correct rooms.  Just because they are standing square in the middle of the rooms is not reason to panic.  Just because we haven’t even identified the movers who will come to our house on the Monday after we’re home (5 days before the party) to move all the excess furniture down to the basement where it belongs is no reason to panic.  Just because our house was just registered as a national disaster area with legos and stuffed animals and kinex and so many nerf weapons I can’t stand myself flung haphazardly around every friggin’ flat surface and we’re leaving in 3 freaking days is not a reason to panic.  That there are 8 or so of our closest friends coming over the day after we get back (6 days before the party) to help us “finish” decorating (Please note the quotes around the word finish.  As if we’re close enough to be ready for that), that may be a reason to panic.  (hanging head in shame.)

It’s a good thing I’m going to see my patron saint Eeyore – I need me some good pity parties.

A story by Jackson

Once upon a time a kid named Bill was walking down to the creek with his buds Jim, Bob, Bonnie, Billy, Bobby, Jackie, Jack, another Jackie, Jackson, Ben Cameron, Will Ryan, Willie, Tim, Timothy, Justin, Jamie, Jessica, Jennifer, Harry, Ainsley, Niall, Siama, Yashas, Kate, Katie, Sol, Josh, Joshie, Joshua, Carlos, Calvin, Hobs, Hope, Grace, Jon, Chris, Brittney, Clyde, Larry, Jerry, Gary, Spongebob, Buddy, Guy, Pat, Friend, Bud, Thomas, Able, Jason, Jason, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Elizabeth III, Queen Elizabeth II, Morese, Cathrine, Ashley, Renee, Christine, Uma, Sryia, Anagam, Soun-Young, Susan, Teddy, Syney, Sydney, Devlin, Matt, Matthew, Jake, Jakie, Jacob, JJ, Gracie, Lara, Nitya, Isah, Emily, Theresa, Sophie, Chae, Neha, Brad, Brandon, Pam, Drake, Alara, David, Christopher, Dell, Mary-Ann, Marylyn, Mary, Parker, Joe, Zoe, Jo, Joey, Joseph, Cashi, Idila, Camela, Kev, Kevin, Michael, Gabe, Chandler, Shae, London, Jimmy, and Jim-Bob to have a picknic by the fish, water, trees, grass, birds, vines, swamps, lizards, and snakes. Eventually Chae got bit by; snakes, lizards, birds, and monkeys then she figured out the snake was poisonous so she got knocked out then every one fought for which of ten friends would take her to the hospital for ten hours. Then Zeus came down with all the other gods and tortured Chae.

Later in Minneapolis Odie had exploded from the…. Poodle Factory and stole the fur off the poodle then had a cup of tea (ya know cause he was thirsty) then dies, then burps.

The end.

What a day!!!

So... it all started with an appointment with m doctor at 9:15am. I got up and did 40 min on the treadmill, showered, talked to the contractor, packed my lunch and was pulling out of the driveway at 9:00am on the dot. I was feeling all kinds of proud of myself - that was exactly when I wanted to leave as my doctor is less than five minutes from my house... perfect. I'm heading down the main street of my neighborhood when a little notification pops up on my phone. I look down and what does it say? Dr. appt - 9:00am. FUCK! Okay, well, as I said I'm only 5 min to her door so I floor it, thinking I'll be a couple of minutes late and oh well... I get to the end of the road, check for cars and accelerate out of the turn out of my neighborhood... except... oops... perhaps I was a little over excited as I hit the curb at about 20 MPH and climbing. "That's gonna leave a mark."

I keep going, waiting for the tire to flatten which doesn't happen. I get there only to realize it was my alarm reminding me 15 min early for my 9:freaking:15 appointment. Ok - well I'm there in plenty of time... I didn't even look to see what I'd done to my car. Appointment goes well, no issues and off I go.

Get to work, get stuff done. Oh wait - idiot boy in the office - the one who thinks he's all that - he sends and email to the President of my company about our AR person who reports to me. Let me first say that this woman was born to collect money. She is flat out brilliant at it. The CEO is more than half in love with her, the President, the CFO, me, and the presidents of all our divisions all think she walks on water. Anyway - idiot boy likes to puff out his chest whenever possible and in this case, instead of asking the AR person to also give her reports to him, he created this long story about this shit and that shit and sent it directly to not her, not her supervisor, not her boss's boss, but the President of our company, cc-ing the President of his division. Jesus God I hate stupid people. Like if you want to make someone look bad, perhaps you should pick someone who isn't brilliant at her job by every measure that counts! Of course the President just forwarded it to me, as he's usually a sane sort, and said please respond to idiot boy (Okay he didn't really say that, but I'm sure that's what he meant). It ended up all fine of course, but jeez it took some stupid time out of my day which I didn't have to give. Did I mention I seriously hate stupid people!

Okay - then I head out in the late afternoon to take the deposit to the bank and guess what??

My tire is flat. Look, you can even see where my rim is messed up there near the bottom on the left. Oops... did I tell you I had a history of incidents with curbs that jump out and get right in my way while driving. No? Well, good, never mind then.

Okay, forget about the bank, someone else can go. Am I fully capable of changing my tire. Yes, absolutely. Am I remotely willing to do so if there is another option. Not so much. This is what I pay AAA for, right? I give them a call, and out they send a very cute, tow truck guy who comes out and puts a little donut on the front of my car and all is well....

Until I get back into my office and my husband calls.


Brad: Teddy is okay

this is never ever a good way to start a conversation.

Me: okay (I can hear they're in a car and I'm thinking they're on the way to the hospital - thank God I have the donut!!)

B: And he wants you to know that it isn't Bandit's fault at all, it's 100% his fault. He was very insistent that I tell you that.

M: OMG, what the hell happened?

B: Bandit bit him. We're on the way back from the doctor and they decided not to give him stitches... yadda, yadda, yadda.

M: what happened.

B: Ted had Bandit in his lap and and was tapping a pencil on the table getting Bandit to pounce on it so they could play tug of war. And eventually Bandit got more than the pencil. There were several chewed up pencils on the table so this "game" had been going on a while.

M: so our brain trust of a son was holding a pencil while teaching the dog to bite said pencil?

B: that about covers it.

M: is it wrong to comment on his stupidity?

B: I hope not.

America's worst finder

The shoes
Me: Teddy, come on buddy, we've got to go.

Ted: Okay, I've just got to get my shoes, they're up in my room. (He runs up to get them. He runs back down. Looks in the family room. Goes back upstairs. Comes back down and tries the dining room.)

M: Ted! Come on, we're going!

T: (completely annoyed and put upon) I can't find my shoes. (He's pulling pillows off the couch)

Brad (who just now clued into what's going on): I think I put them on the stairs. (Right on the bottom where Ted had just passed four separate times)

Ted walks over to the stairs and then looks up at me sheepishly: I guess this is just another example of being the world's worst finder.


The socks
We're going roller skating for Teddy's birthday and we need to bring longer socks. Jack doesn't own a single pair and the only ones Ted has are his black socks worn when performing in school concerts. But there are plenty of those so we'll be fine.

Me: Ted will you grab a second pair of black socks for Jackson?

Ted: sure

Several minutes and some banging - mo-om I can only find one pair of black socks. we never use them, they should be sitting in his sock drawer, this should be an easy one. Look again! There aren't any. I come upstairs and there are 5 pairs in the top nearly empty drawer.

T: Oh, hmmm, I found this pair on the floor, I didn't think to look in a drawer.

M: uh huh....


The swords
Ted: Mo-om Jack won't tell me where my swords are.

Jack: I just told you they're in my cubby.

Ted: NO THEY'RE NOT (12 is a delightful age for a boy)

Jack: Geesh! I'll show you. (walking towards the mudroom cubbies with arms raised and hands waving spookily) "Look, I'm about to magically teleport them 'oogakajukababa'.

The cubbies are roughly a foot wide and a foot deep and maybe 4 feet tall and Teddy (aka "America's worst finder") couldn't find two 3 foot Nerf swords in one of them.

We're very proud.