But as I've mentioned elsewhere - first things first. I must find the concert clothes. I've known about this thing for a while - but did it ever once occur to me that he needed his concert clothes? Nope. Did the fact that the band director mentioned it help my poor brain click onto this bit of reality - Nope, not so much. Did it occur to my ever so organized husband? Man I hope not, cuz if it did and he didn't think it was worth mentioning before he headed off down south I might have to kill him - but I digress. If I'd thought about it before - say even yesterday of course I would have Teddy find his own clothes - my God the boy is nearly 12 years old. But as Teddy is the definition of an 'absent minded, easily distracted, can't find the shoes on my own feet' kind of kid I think that with 2 hours to go before they need to be packed up for tomorrow it's significantly safer and more peaceful for all involved if I go and find them.
Of course I disguise this as him looking for them with me helping him and he immediately goes to the bottom of his closet - I hope this is a valuable clue. He paws through a variety of Legos and cars and all manner of things I'm not sure I want to know about and comes up with a single black shoe. Okay, let me look. I went and got a small chair to sit on to save my back from what I suspected would be an arduous process and got to work. I found at least an industrial sized load and a half worth of clothes on the floor of his closet. There were seriously 20 pairs of underwear. Where did he even get 20 pairs of underwear. I do recall buying him some new underwear not that long ago after he complained of no longer having any that fit him.... Oh you gullible woman!
But once all the clothes were thrown into the middle of his room creating a 12 foot tall pile I found the second shoe as well as 2 white dress shirts and a pair of black dress pants. We were so in business!!! Of course the pants were size 10 slim. Teddy is a slim kid. But he'll be 12 in less than 4 months - I was doubtful. He did manage to get them on, but let me tell you this was not a good look - and I can't imagine breathing was much fun for him. He found some Navy pants - he told me he was sure the band director would be fine with it, after all as a percussionist he's in the back and who would notice. I told him not to point it out to anyone and if anyone noticed to tell them - "man, my mom was supposed to send the black pants, she must have gotten confused" he seemed okay with that while I totally sweated whether or not that was an okay thing to say to the kid. (of course he is a kid who has no idea of what tact is or when not to throw the truth into someone's face so maybe a bit of sanctioned plausible deniability isn't such a bad thing for him - if this had been Jack, the best liar in all the land, - I never in a million years would have gone there).
But alas - the blue pants were also a size 10 slim - he could barely get them over his feet - both pairs - where in God's name did we get 2 pairs of navy (go Navy beat Army) pants? but that's beside the point at the moment - Okay back to square one. (no not square one I must remind myself - I have the shoes and the socks and the shirt). I will buy you a pair of pants and bring them to school tomorrow before the bus leaves. (will I manage to work a full day sometime this month I wonder?).. Oh Brad - how do you always manage to miss all this fun?... As a last ditch effort I go through each item of clothing in all the drawers in his dresser, confident I won't find any black pants there and low and behold I find a pair of size 10 (not slim) black pants still with the tags on - we are such efficient people (not). They sort of almost fit him. Too short - but he's a budding geek and likes his pants too short and too tight - but don't in any way hamper breathing and they look almost normal. - We are back to "good to go!" woo hoo.
Now we've had to have a 3 hour long conversation (slight exaggeration) about whether or not it's okay to wear a clearly visible green Philadelphia Eagles shirt on under his white shirt.
Me: Why? I stupidly ask.
Ted: Because when the concert's over I can take off the white shirt and it will feel SO much better.
Me: What if you just go to the bathroom and change your shirt - perhaps you'll actually need to use the rest room at some point and you can take advantage of already being there.
Ted: (indignantly) I won't have to use the rest room
Me: why is that dear - do you have super human powers and don't use the facilities like the rest of us?
Ted: (as if I'm the stupidest person alive for not knowing this) I have never once ever had to go to the bathroom after a concert. (insert eye roll)
Me: okay dear, we're done talking about this - get in bed.
Camela
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